Thursday, October 7, 2010

The Best Freakin' Day Ever!

Ok, so maybe, not exactly.

I mean, really, the best day ever would be me sitting on the veranda of my beach side home, watching the surf as I soak my feet in a tub o' the cash I just won in the Powerball drawing. It might also mean that I have a Pinot I.V. hooked up and that I'm typing on the new fold out Funbags Laptop I just had installed in my chest cavity and am thoroughly enjoying the fact that my big girls have a fresh purpose in life. However, since I'm not likely to win Powerball, buy a beach house, have a money-pedi or Tony Stark experience anytime soon, we'll work with what we've got. 'Cause that's what DSm's do...we take the shit we have and make it WORK.

Yesterday really was a fantastic day & you are partially responsible for that, my dear reader. By the time I retired my quick-as-lightning fingers last night and stepped away from the laptop & reading population had damn near quadrupled.


So thank you, thank you , thank you. Even if you don't ever actually read this blog, at least I now have the illusion that you are and that's good enough for me. I live in a world of illusions (or delusions according to some) anyway, so it's all good in da hood. Besides, I'd rather have 25 really awesome "pretend" followers than 1,000 fans. Seriously, have you noticed that some of the biggest fucking lunatics on the planet had a massive fan base: i.e. Hitler, Michael Jackson, Glenn Beck. Single Dad Laughing.

Let's just not and say we did. Ok? Good.

The day was fabulous between yesterday's post and the wine-induced sleep as well. My daughter won a prestigious award at school yesterday for her 1st grade contribution to the witches wall. She colored & cut out the best witch in her class and won sidewalk chalk. Hell yeah! That's my girl...the very witchiest! Just like momma.

Then there was the tearjerker. My littlest man, has been battling through articulation disorder for over a year now and after months of speech therapy, has made a huge breakthrough. We were working on his therapy homework & flash cards last night and he ROCKED IT!! I'm talking to the point, where Saint Jason & I were in tears. So proud.

"Banana. Pencils. Airplane. Indiana Jones. Turtle" All clear as a damn bell, and we high-fived and cried and hugged and it was a big fat love fest that ended with him running out of his room at bedtime to say "You da bes Mommy." (heart bursting)

All of the above sent me to bed with the following stuck in my head (you can thank my kids for this shit):

Now if we can just get him to say his name clearly. "Eenan Cortes" when in reality, his name is Ian Cortes, but that's a doozy for him. Perhaps I should've named him Chewbacca, because he's got that one covered too.

I leave you with two things.

1. I was asked, the other day, why I use so much profanity in my blog (and FB page, and FB DSMWLSG page and most of my speech). I could tell you that I cuss alot because I didn't cuss at all, not one single time for about 10 years, and that I'm just catching up on lost time but that's not the case; or that I'm an ignorant woman who's too lazy to find better words for what I'm trying to say, but that's not true either, because while my grammar may lack a bit, I'm no idiot. That much, I know.
So we'll just go with this excuse:
I cuss alot because I'm hoping that my trial husband (#1) will smell the stench of the sulphur rising from my blog 999 miles away. (If you don't get the sulphur reference, you haven't read enough about hell or watched enough movies about possession.)

2. I found out yesterday that I can open a store through CafePress for free, which is fucking awesome, because nannies who have 4 kids of their own are not rich bitches y'all. (And please don't make fun of me for not knowing about the free store, because I'm new to this blogosphere & if you'd all shown up a little sooner, I might be smarter. So there.) Anyway, I've had a few inquiries as to where one could acquire an I "heart" Jesus & Bacon t-shirt or bumper I'm working on it. Hopefully, since I won't have the kids this weekend (thank God for their father's visitation rights) I'll be able to put some actual effort into getting the designs transferred and posted.

Sorry, y'all...that was a shit ton of blog post. I'll be shorter next time & probably not as happy.

Until next time,



Keri said...

lol! I love you because you can put into words what every other DSM out there wants to. Thanks for the smiles :) p.s. and I'm your #1 fan..

Anonymous said...

B!!!! I f'ing heart you so much! Yay for your little witchy (pre)woman! And YAYAYAY for Sir Ian ROCKIN' the flashcards! Bub has central processing disorder so I know how frustrating and heartbreaking it is to have a child that has trouble with what we take for granted!

Anonymous said...

I'd like to blame the lump in my throat and tears to PMS, but I can't. Give Ian a big hug from me!
By the way, I "REALLY DO" read the blogs I follow, and yours just made it to the top of the list! PROFANITY, what would blogs be without it.... BORING!

Brandi C. said...

You all rock! I'd find something witty to say right now, but I'm just too overwhelmed: the support is incredible. Thanks!!!! (And Ian got a TON of love tonight!)

Scott Riddick said...

Cussing, as I have learned through many years of mastering the art, can be an uplifting release. For example, I could tell you that I will not follow, but instead, read your very pink blog with a smile.

Or, I could tell you that your fucking pink is generating a PMS manurisum <--made up word, blowing up my visual stimuli with mountains of bitches gathering together to vent or relate to a personal vent against some ex dickhead, who should have keep well enough alone and just shut the fuck up and let you be you...

I can marry the two and simply say nicely fucking done. And the word verification is a motherfucker! I never get the damn thing right on the first go.

Brandi C. said...

Scott...I had to read this twice to realize that it was a compliment, to which I say FUCKING AWESOME!
I have to tell you that I always have three goals in writing any blog:
1. Inspire hate mail.
2. Cause a manurism.
3. Piss off my ex (either one will do, really.)
Thanks for helping me to accomplish one of those so early in my blogging career.

(As for the word, I know you are committed. Sucker!)