Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Home is Where the Cooties Are...

This morning began like any other. Alarm went off at 5:20 and I hit the snooze for ten more minutes of much needed sleep, which I didn't get because I lay there thinking of all the things I really need to accomplish today. I get up at 5:30 and hit the shower, get dressed, gather the kids' crap, and it's time to wake Elena.

Well, shit. This can't be good. She looks and sounds like The Swamp Thing and...yep, is running a fucking fever too.


So here we are; me, Elena, Ian and my youngest charge Sidney. All trapped in this petri dish of allergy inspired viral colds.

Elena has been banned to her room, a veritable kingdom of electronics with her t.v. and DVD player and Nintendo DS. I bring her food and meds on schedule and she's allowed out only to visit the latrine. I'm a mean mommy, or so I've been told, because I'm making her rest.


Honestly, she's getting on my damn nerves and I might have to duct tape her to her bed if she gets up again. I might even hook her up to the shop vac if she doesn't learn to blow her damn nose. I mean, really, what 7 year old girl can't effectively blow her own nose? I can't help it, the sound of *sniffing* gets on my nerves.

In fact, I think duct tape is in order for all the ankle biters today. I need a nap. And a xanax. And a glass of wine.

And there I go thinking about shit I can't have in the middle of the work day again. Crap.

Maybe I'll just go use the duct tape to seal my ears from the sounds of Max & Ruby before my entire brain bleeds out.


Doc said...

Hope it gets better for you... (Max and Ruby is the worst show on TV btw)

Atypical Scott said... *before* waking Elena and hold it until *after* you have showered? Interesting. To each their own I say. I sometimes don't shower for a couple of days and have a few magazine moments in-between, so you're not alone in poor prioritizing. :-p

Brandi C. said...

@ Doc, I managed to survive Max & Ruby w/o drugs, alcohol or duct tape.

@ Scott...were you high when you read me today? I didn't even address when I crap. I did however write about gathering the "kids' crap". LMAO. I wonder about you sometimes. I'm sure I'm not the first or the last to do so.

Atypical Scott said...

Might have been the way I read it. I see the ' now and, although it looks like a , it's clearly '

I am a little red-faced now about my own admission. HA-HA. And I am also humbled by you thinking me reading you is humbling.