Thursday, October 14, 2010

So Happy the Speech Therapy is Finally Paying Off

Ian has a new word. He says it with absolute clarity and perfect articulation.

"Dammit."

My life will never be the same. I have to stop cussing. At least out loud. My writing, however, is going to be absolutely profane. I'm sorry.

Now is where you should jump ship if you are easily offended.

Still here?

Shit. Fuck. Balls. Cock. Douchebag. Son of a bitch. Motherfucker. DAMMIT!!!!!

I'm going to go wash my own mouth out with soap now.

4 comments:

Atypical Scott said...

I have one of those spelling worm deals. My daughter likes to mash the buttons and dance to all the songs it plays, but Daddy has a slightly more profane means he uses it for. At least until she learns how to spell.

To make a point, when it is time to spread the love around a little to Daddy, I grab the worm-the toy not the real deal-and, while mommy is in the kitchen cooking, press the keys that speak for me.

The child-like voice rings out;

P.U.S.S.Y P.U.S.S.Y P.U.S.S.Y

until my wife turns to me with a smirk filled evil eye and says, "You should be ashamed of yourself."

Perhaps, but if Daddy was getting regular P.U.S.S.Y he would not have to stoop to such lows. :-)

Emptyhead51 said...

LOL
STILL HERE...think a little potty mouth will get rid of me...WRONG! I recommend Caress or Tone, the flavour of the botanicals really leave a wonderful after taste!

Jen said...

I just have to ask...did you really apologize for MORE profanity? GOD, I hope not! You are abso-fucking-lurely birlliant. And the profanities are just sentence enhancers. My eyes tingle when I read your blog...like I just rubbed them with chili peppers or something.

Brandi C. said...

@ Scott: I can't thank you enough for causing me to choke on my coffee. And then later, you made Jason choke on his ravioli (because of course I just had to show him the comment, it's totally something he would fucking pull).

@ Empty: I heart loyalty, and now have the urge to go watch A Christmas Story early...hmmm?

@ Jen: Tingly eyes are the shit! Let me know when I hit jabenero status, Ok?!